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The Princess Is BORED..This Can't End Well For Anyone!

WOW it's been a while, huh?  W'ell see if I can type with these damn nails without screwing up too badly. It is a love/hate relationship between the nails and I.....Love the way they look, HATE the pain in the ass that they cause.  Being a gearhead Princess, I usually don't grow them out but since we aren't racing right now, what the hell, let them grow and be a gurly girl for a while.
This month (August), especally the third week is kind of bizarre for me. I wonder if something celestial happens during a persons life that makes all important things happen during one space in time....My daughter was due to be born on the 20th. She came home from the hospital on the 20th, 7 weeks old already because she was pre mature. My wedding anniversary is the 19th. The day that I got burned working on the race car was the 23rd. All very life changing events! Who knows. All I know is that it makes for an emotional week for me.
OMG Maury was on the same channel as Dr Oz, and I forgot to turn it of, I HATE listening to those people!  All the screaming and D R A M A!  I have 2 kids and a husband, I get enough drama.  I turned it off and immediatly feel my blood pressure dropping. 

Enough with the chatter, you know why i'm here, so let's get to it. You know I HAVE to rant.

I found out recently that I am a DAMN YANKEE!  I feel like I have the cooties and can't get them off!!  My Great Great Great Grandfather fought for the NORTH during the WAR OF NORTHERN AGGRETION!  Gone are all my hopes of one day finding my southern belle roots, my Scarlett O'Hara days are ovah..Whoa is meeee.  YEAH RIGHT!  I refuse to accept it, someone dressed the old guy up in that Yankee uniform and took his picture so they could black mail the family is all...yeah that's it!  You can't hold the sins of the father against the child, and that goes for Great Great Great papaws too!

So I went and got a hair cut, finally.  I hate moving worst of all because it is so damn hard to find a good girl to do your hair.  I made an appointment, asked for a mster stylist to tame this mop of curls that I'm cursed with, and what do I get?  A little shit who shows up 15 minutes late, makes me wait for 10 more and FINALLY she comes looking for me.  By then I was already pissed, right? Dayum skippy!  I explained to the dip shit that the last cut I got was done wrong, it's supposed to be an angled bob, the dumbass who cut it didnt take direction and cut the points off and gave me a ROUND cut...I showed said dip shit a photo of the exact cut that I had and she said ooooooh sure no problem.  That should have tipped me off!  I got in the chair and she started snipping...1 freakin snip per minute.  I knew it was gonna take forfreakinever!  I think I intimidated her when I was explaining about the last bad cut....whatever...anyway...so 45 minutes later, she stands back and asks me "hows that?"  She had not touched my bangs and the sides were wayyyyyy too full, so I told her to thin it with the thinning shears or the razor, didnt care which...soooo after another 15 minutes of me pointing here and there to shape it up we decide we're done...AFTER she cuts the split ends off my bangs!!!!  For petes sake girl cut the god forsaken bangs please!  And she does....STRAIGHT ACROSS, I could have killed her on the spot!  But they'll grow, I guess.  She fiddles with it a little more with the flat iron, I pay and leave....while I was paying, I figured out she was not a master stylist, based on the price she charged me.
NOW, after I have washed it and TRIED to style it myself, I find out that the layers on 1 side are waaaaay shorter than the layers on the other!  I am plotting my revenge as we type!  I want to go in there and take the hair clipper to every GREEN hair on the twits head and leave her only with the inky black that is on half her head!  then she can be lopsided like ME!

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