Yesterday, I threw a good ol' fasihioned Princess size HISSY FIT.
his·sy 2 (hĭs'ē) his·sies Chiefly Southern and South Midland U.S.
noun, plural ‑sies. Slang. a fit of anger; temper tantrum.
Blame it on being spoiled, blame it on PMS, blame it on boredom, hell, blame it on Obama. The plain truth of the matter is that I just felt like throwing one, and being me....well, I went right ahead and did it. All i wanted was the house clean. Ok, so it was already CLEAN, but you know the messes I'm talking about.
Kid messes that THEY should clean up but don't random toys laying here and there, stacks of magazines, husband messes of the same sort....and your own mommy junk laying around...the nail polish that it was just too much trouble to carry back to the bathroom even thought you go there 20 times a day, old coupons, and uhoh...I left my shoes out too.
SO, I put my lip out, crossed my arms and had a little fit. It didn't take much at all, I was surprised! The next thing I knew, me and my little army of 3 were working away. I even got the back yard cleaned up and the front too, and all it took was a HISSY FIT.
If you have never thrown one of these, I highly recommend at least one a month. Coordinate it with your period, and I guarantee results. Mention the phrase "I have PMS", and whatever you want done...and voila! You get your way. It might take some practice, but you'll catch the hang of it pretty quick. And if you throw a big enough one, the rest is cake!
I have come to realize that, low and behold, after living in the beautiful state of Kentucky all of my life until this past October, I have a southern accent! It's funny! When people point it out,t hey always try to mimic it, and that makes me LAUGH. 3 times this week I have had people ask me where I am from, and it always leads to the same thing. "you have the cutest accent!"
Never knew it, coulda knocked me over with the proverbial feather. Sure, I use words like y'all, and hissy fit...but apparently I drop my G's and use don't instead of Do Not, Can't instead of Can Not Actually it comes out more like CAINT lol, She's, he's, who's, like their is gonna be no tomorra! I cain't enunciate to save my life! I was taught as early as the first grade that the AIN'T is not a word....WELL WHY THE HELL AIN'T IT?? People use it enough....I use it enough for six people. Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda. And I have notice that people out here, will correct your grammer. I have something to say about that. My Grammer was a nice lady, and she didn't speak the Queen's English either. She whooped my hind end for Cussin', and she would whoop yers for being rude enough to tell somebody how to talk! She taught me that when saying sonofabitch wasn't descriptive enough, their is always the good ol' sonofabitch on a bicycle!
I don't just go to the grocery...I go t'Kroger, or I go shoppin'. Other southerners might say they are goin t'Piggly Wiggly, even though they have been closed for years....We are just goin to get food to put in the fridge...or as my Husbands grandma used to call it, the frigidairey. I don't just order a soft drink, I order a Coke. They might only have Pepsi on the menu, and I might KNOW that, but it always comes out "COKE". No one can explain why.
Youins...or You uns....means Y'all....and if y'all is too hard for you to grasp....think " YOU PEOPLE, or YOU ALL, YOU GUYS" I never picked up this word, and I have mostly heard it out of old folks, but who knows, when i am an old folk....I might decide to start sayin it!
Oh my, Oh dear, Honey aint just for sweatenin' your tea! Everybody can be Honey...when your giving bad news, " aw honey I do hate to tell you this." or when you see your best friend, "Well Honey, how are ya?" Darlin', Sweetie, Sugah, it's all the same.
Always always always remember to ask, "How's your Momma?", your Grandmomma, your Daddy, your second cousin Fred. It don't matter, manners require it, and every southern Princess whether she be a lady or a hellion, always knows her manners.
Hellion –noun Informal. a disorderly, troublesome, rowdy, or mischievous person. I am proudly, at times, a hellion. I can't seem to help it. Sure, I can be a LADY when I HAVE to be one. But being a Hellion is so much more fun! Ladies have to sit and sip. A hellion can grab a red cup and hit the dance floor!
Compliment your companion. Male or female, people eat it up. It don't matter if their new hair cut reminds you of your Aunt Myrtle after that time she got caught out in the thunder storm and got hit by lightnin', Stick to this, "Well honey, that new hair dew is so pretty, I have to get the name of your girl." No, you are not asking for her daughters phone number....her GIRL. Another word to learn. Hair stylist=GIRL who does hair.
"Eat it up"....believe it, buy into it, like what you have to say. Y'all followin' all this?
"Yep"....Yes, sure, affirmative
"Naw"....No, NOPE, negative
Fried chicken, beans and corn bread, sweet tea, fried corn, green beans swimmin grease from them ham hocks your granny always cooked them with. And don't forget the bar b que! Sweet sauce, hot sauce, goopy, drippy goodness. Anyone from the south east KNOWS it's ok to lick your finger, ain't bad manners at all. It's called complimentin' the cook!
Never, ever....oh...excuse me, Nevah, EVAH, where white dress shoes before Easter or after Labor Day. No body knows why, Darlin, we just don't Do it!
Every man who is married to a Southern Girl knows the rule of the remote. If Your watchin the TV together, he has to stop at any channel that is showing Fried Green Tomotoes, Driving Miss Daisy, Steel Magnolias or (everybody bow) Gone With The Wind. Scarlett O'Hara taught us each and every one to think..no...to KNOW that we are forever 16, and the cutest Belle in the county. No matter if we are 16 or 60, in our eyes, no one can touch us. Miss Daisy taught us that no matter how old we are, we are STILL in charge and it DOES matter what other people think of you. The Steel Magnolias collectively taught us that friends stick together, patience, caring, and laughter through tears, and let's not forget Tawanda, the Wild Girl of Borneo, The Whistle Stop Cafe, Idgie and Ruth, Miss Threadgood, they all helped to shape us.
Every girl has dreamed of being swept off her teeny little feet by Rhett Butler, wanted to be sung to sleep by George Straight, We've Ooohed and Aaahed over the slow talkin', lanky cowboys in the movies, but a true Southern girl is as true to her man as she is to her own heart, as long as he is true to her.
Let's talk about sports. We don't play them, we watch them. Football, Basketball and anything with wheels. Me, I like basketball more than football. Kentucky and basketball or as synonymous as Kentucky Derby and Mint Julep. A true Kentuckian ONLY roots for the University of Kentucky, but their are a few weirdos out there who are for that OTHER team who plays out of Louisville. Here I am in California, cheering on my team 2300 miles away...gives a whole new meaning to the term True Blue!
And on to motorsports. We have Monster Trucks, NASCAR, Demo Derbies, and Drag Racin'.....gimme the 2 lane side by side any time over the other stuff, but it's all good fun!
When all this fast talkin', city junk gets you down, it don't matter where your from. Stop and think about cool breezes on a humid day, porch swings, honey suckles, and a big glass of sweet tea. No Lemon. It'll get better for ya, just watch and see!
Time for me to run now, give yer Momma a kiss for me Sugah, will ya, and tell her I said, "Hey!"