This is hard. Being the mom of a 9 month old isn't the easiest thing under normal circumstances. Being the mom of a 9 month old at the ripe old age of 41...well...it is HARD! I have a good friend who is also 41 and has 2 children under 2, one of which has Down Syndrome. She is my HERO, I don't see how she does it, when one typical 9 month old can send me in to the fetal position myself on the best of days.
The thing is, my little Princess was a surprise, an unexpected gift. Rarely does anyone ASK you if you want a gift, they do not call and say they are dropping by with a puppy, a kitten, a gerbil...or a baby.
I was settled in my life. My youngest child was 15 years old and a freshman in high school. My oldest was 20. She has special needs and will live with me for the rest of our days. I was working, enjoying being able to go to bed as early and sleep in as late as I wanted on the weekends. I could go shopping, read a book, pee in private and shave both legs (at the same time) more than once a week). I could take an entire bath without having to hop out with shampoo in my hair to settle a baby before it woke completely up.
No one ASKED me if I wanted to be a Mommy again. Now, don't get me wrong. I am NOT complaining. I wouldn't give her back for anything, I can not imagine my life without my Princess baby. Would I have CHOSEN to get pregnant? No. I was over it, I had closed up the baby making facilities and hung up the "retired" sign.
As of now, I have not gotten a full night sleep since I was 7 months pregnant. I got a five hour nap, ONE time and woke up in the middle of it terrified because the baby had not woken me up.
NOT FUN! But the snuggles that I have time to enjoy! The little things that I have learned more patience that I had at 25 and can deal with easier. Some things are so much better as an older mom....or a Mom of advanced maternal age....or woman of a certain age.
My forced retirement is not all bad. I have time to get to KNOW my baby without having to fit it in to a small window of time in the morning and evening.
But those days. THOSE days when she is teething or just in a bad little baby mood and all I want to do is eat my dinner without a hand in my plate or drive down the road in the quiet without the wailing because she doesn't like to ride in the car...THOSE days I put my lip out and say "No one asked me if I wanted to do this". But I suck it up, keep on driving and eventually she is quiet or I get where we were going and everything is right with the world again. Until next time lol
I never gave much thought to anyone's inability to have a child until this baby. I had several friends and family members who was been trying to no avail. Quite a few of them much younger than me (mid 20's). Wonderful ladies who would make great Mommies. And here I was, pregnant without even trying, at 40. It humbled me. I had to consider their feelings while trying to figure out my own. Did I hide my happiness, or did I share it? I did both, but I'm sure that it still hurt them.
After thinking of them, I fully embraced new motherhood again. Who wouldn't?
The thing is, my little Princess was a surprise, an unexpected gift. Rarely does anyone ASK you if you want a gift, they do not call and say they are dropping by with a puppy, a kitten, a gerbil...or a baby.
I was settled in my life. My youngest child was 15 years old and a freshman in high school. My oldest was 20. She has special needs and will live with me for the rest of our days. I was working, enjoying being able to go to bed as early and sleep in as late as I wanted on the weekends. I could go shopping, read a book, pee in private and shave both legs (at the same time) more than once a week). I could take an entire bath without having to hop out with shampoo in my hair to settle a baby before it woke completely up.
No one ASKED me if I wanted to be a Mommy again. Now, don't get me wrong. I am NOT complaining. I wouldn't give her back for anything, I can not imagine my life without my Princess baby. Would I have CHOSEN to get pregnant? No. I was over it, I had closed up the baby making facilities and hung up the "retired" sign.
As of now, I have not gotten a full night sleep since I was 7 months pregnant. I got a five hour nap, ONE time and woke up in the middle of it terrified because the baby had not woken me up.
NOT FUN! But the snuggles that I have time to enjoy! The little things that I have learned more patience that I had at 25 and can deal with easier. Some things are so much better as an older mom....or a Mom of advanced maternal age....or woman of a certain age.
My forced retirement is not all bad. I have time to get to KNOW my baby without having to fit it in to a small window of time in the morning and evening.
But those days. THOSE days when she is teething or just in a bad little baby mood and all I want to do is eat my dinner without a hand in my plate or drive down the road in the quiet without the wailing because she doesn't like to ride in the car...THOSE days I put my lip out and say "No one asked me if I wanted to do this". But I suck it up, keep on driving and eventually she is quiet or I get where we were going and everything is right with the world again. Until next time lol
I never gave much thought to anyone's inability to have a child until this baby. I had several friends and family members who was been trying to no avail. Quite a few of them much younger than me (mid 20's). Wonderful ladies who would make great Mommies. And here I was, pregnant without even trying, at 40. It humbled me. I had to consider their feelings while trying to figure out my own. Did I hide my happiness, or did I share it? I did both, but I'm sure that it still hurt them.
After thinking of them, I fully embraced new motherhood again. Who wouldn't?