Wow, it's been a while! About 6 weeks, we have left behind Christmas, New Year, and my birthday (I turned 36, YIKES!) We are coming up on Valentines Day pretty fast, and spring is hopefully just around a corner or two. If not, I give up! It has been raining for 2 weeks, it stops for a few hours, teases me with a little sun shine and starts right back up again!
I was doing so GOOD, walking 2 miles a day taking my boy to school and picking him up, and now the rain, and I have to drive!! GRRRRR! I think it's a conspiracy!
I lost 5 pounds in one week and then the rain started. Well, that was the end of THAT!
I really dreaded my birthday this year. 36 just seems to me like LATE 30's. Everyone told me that it's not, but it felt like it. Especally when I look at the fact that my husband is in his EARLY 30's! He was so funny the other day! We were getting ready to go somewhere or the other and he came into the bathroom and informed me that he was getting wrinkles! Now, I noticed these ages ago, crinkles around his eyes from squinting at the sun. I think they are adorable, and I know where they came from. It was so cute, getting to see him react to AGING! hahahaha I dont remember which Steal Magnolia said it about "time marching on, and it marches right across your face!" So friggin true!
I think this time I want to talk about being strong. Not heavy lifting...well sort of, I guess the world on your shoulders could be kind of heavy, but not in the literal sence. I believe that we are not given more than we can handle. You just have to slow down and muddle through sometimes. Everything you are given is a test. You might stop now and again and ask why you are being punished. I catch myself doing that still. Something will happen and you will wonder what you did to deserve something so bad. You didnt do anything, you are being teste for the next thing.
For instance when my daughter was born. She was 8 weeks premature, almost died at birth and had 2 brain surgeries over the next month in the NICU before she was ok. I was 19. I didnt see it then, but going through all that I was being tested...to see if I was going to be strong enough to be here Mom. I hung in there and apparanly I passed because 16 years later, she's still hanging around me, and believe me, if it had not been for all of that at first, I don't think I would be strong enough to hang in there now! We have been through 4 more surgeries and time in the hospital, (nothing recent thank goodness) and struggles with day to day things like school and hygeine....but I built up my skin back then to take it now.
My point is, when you think something is too hard, it can always get harder. When something is bad for you, it can always be worse for someone else. It helps to find something to smile about, even if it's something small. You can't stop living life just because things are rough.
My husband and I are opposites when it comes to that. He will get bored and want something more than he has (car, truck, parts, whatever) and I'm just happy with what I've got. There's not a lot of point in being in a bad mood over something that you can't have, all that does is make you feel worse, and worse than that, it make those around you feel like THEY aren't good enough. Don't get me wrong, I want a new Camaro and a closet full of designer clothes but I'm not gonna get pissy over it! =)
So, What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. a year and a half ago I was burned pretty bad working on the race car. I mean, I was on FIRE. Not everyone will know what I'm talking about, but Methanol (alcohol, which the car runs on) burns clear and cold, and their was an accident, causing it to get on me...at first I didnt realize it, then when I did, my shirt was on fire, then my shorts. My fore arm and my waist area where my shorts where was burned. My husband had the water hose on thank GOD, to fill the radiator and had forgotten to turn it off, so he immediatly got it on me so it wasn't any worse than that, but it was still pretty bad. I had to strip my burning clothes off in the front yard under the hose. I had 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my arm and on my side. I was pretty freaked out to say the least, I had an ambulance ride, but only spent a few hours in the hospital. I made my husband take me to the race that we were in such a hurry to get to when we left....I dont even really know why, I just had to prove that it didnt BEAT me. The next week I was right back in the garage starting the same damn car, and that time we got it running and out to the track.
I'm a little gun shy now, but I still love it....but I'm not as afraid to try things. I hate fire, but I know it didnt kill me. I'm a little braver. I have a few scars, some of them you can't see, but the ones that you can, I don't hide, they remind me to stand a little taller when I get scared. I was weak for a while, and scared and in pain that I had no idea existed, I cant imagine how people who have survived worse feel, but they do it every day. I had to depend on my husband to change bandages and take care of my kids and help me bathe...that has a tendencey to make you feel vunerable and pretty damn small. Would I have skipped it? I really don't think so....It did put a lot of "what if's?" in my head...what if the hose wasn't already on...what if i had breathed in the flames...caught my hair on fire (how I didn't when I took my shirt off, I have no freakin idea) what if it burned my face, what if one of the kids had been in the garage....their was an open jug if fuel right next to me. WHAT IF THAT HAD CAUGHT FIRE?? What if it had been my husband to get burned instead of me? Would I have been able to help? I don't know! Thankfully I didn't have to find any of that out. I handled it, and learned A LOT about myself.
K.W may be an asshole, but he was right.
That that doesn't kill me can only make me stronger.
I was doing so GOOD, walking 2 miles a day taking my boy to school and picking him up, and now the rain, and I have to drive!! GRRRRR! I think it's a conspiracy!
I lost 5 pounds in one week and then the rain started. Well, that was the end of THAT!
I really dreaded my birthday this year. 36 just seems to me like LATE 30's. Everyone told me that it's not, but it felt like it. Especally when I look at the fact that my husband is in his EARLY 30's! He was so funny the other day! We were getting ready to go somewhere or the other and he came into the bathroom and informed me that he was getting wrinkles! Now, I noticed these ages ago, crinkles around his eyes from squinting at the sun. I think they are adorable, and I know where they came from. It was so cute, getting to see him react to AGING! hahahaha I dont remember which Steal Magnolia said it about "time marching on, and it marches right across your face!" So friggin true!
I think this time I want to talk about being strong. Not heavy lifting...well sort of, I guess the world on your shoulders could be kind of heavy, but not in the literal sence. I believe that we are not given more than we can handle. You just have to slow down and muddle through sometimes. Everything you are given is a test. You might stop now and again and ask why you are being punished. I catch myself doing that still. Something will happen and you will wonder what you did to deserve something so bad. You didnt do anything, you are being teste for the next thing.
For instance when my daughter was born. She was 8 weeks premature, almost died at birth and had 2 brain surgeries over the next month in the NICU before she was ok. I was 19. I didnt see it then, but going through all that I was being tested...to see if I was going to be strong enough to be here Mom. I hung in there and apparanly I passed because 16 years later, she's still hanging around me, and believe me, if it had not been for all of that at first, I don't think I would be strong enough to hang in there now! We have been through 4 more surgeries and time in the hospital, (nothing recent thank goodness) and struggles with day to day things like school and hygeine....but I built up my skin back then to take it now.
My point is, when you think something is too hard, it can always get harder. When something is bad for you, it can always be worse for someone else. It helps to find something to smile about, even if it's something small. You can't stop living life just because things are rough.
My husband and I are opposites when it comes to that. He will get bored and want something more than he has (car, truck, parts, whatever) and I'm just happy with what I've got. There's not a lot of point in being in a bad mood over something that you can't have, all that does is make you feel worse, and worse than that, it make those around you feel like THEY aren't good enough. Don't get me wrong, I want a new Camaro and a closet full of designer clothes but I'm not gonna get pissy over it! =)
So, What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. a year and a half ago I was burned pretty bad working on the race car. I mean, I was on FIRE. Not everyone will know what I'm talking about, but Methanol (alcohol, which the car runs on) burns clear and cold, and their was an accident, causing it to get on me...at first I didnt realize it, then when I did, my shirt was on fire, then my shorts. My fore arm and my waist area where my shorts where was burned. My husband had the water hose on thank GOD, to fill the radiator and had forgotten to turn it off, so he immediatly got it on me so it wasn't any worse than that, but it was still pretty bad. I had to strip my burning clothes off in the front yard under the hose. I had 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my arm and on my side. I was pretty freaked out to say the least, I had an ambulance ride, but only spent a few hours in the hospital. I made my husband take me to the race that we were in such a hurry to get to when we left....I dont even really know why, I just had to prove that it didnt BEAT me. The next week I was right back in the garage starting the same damn car, and that time we got it running and out to the track.
I'm a little gun shy now, but I still love it....but I'm not as afraid to try things. I hate fire, but I know it didnt kill me. I'm a little braver. I have a few scars, some of them you can't see, but the ones that you can, I don't hide, they remind me to stand a little taller when I get scared. I was weak for a while, and scared and in pain that I had no idea existed, I cant imagine how people who have survived worse feel, but they do it every day. I had to depend on my husband to change bandages and take care of my kids and help me bathe...that has a tendencey to make you feel vunerable and pretty damn small. Would I have skipped it? I really don't think so....It did put a lot of "what if's?" in my head...what if the hose wasn't already on...what if i had breathed in the flames...caught my hair on fire (how I didn't when I took my shirt off, I have no freakin idea) what if it burned my face, what if one of the kids had been in the garage....their was an open jug if fuel right next to me. WHAT IF THAT HAD CAUGHT FIRE?? What if it had been my husband to get burned instead of me? Would I have been able to help? I don't know! Thankfully I didn't have to find any of that out. I handled it, and learned A LOT about myself.
K.W may be an asshole, but he was right.
That that doesn't kill me can only make me stronger.
